The current UK box office stands as so:1. Due Date 2.35m
2. Jackass 3D 1.7m
3. Despicable Me 1.18m
4. Saw 3D 1.07m
5. Paranormal Activity 2 688K
So early winter's doing favours for both horror and the third dimension. I wouldn't call Paranormal Activity 2 a relatively HUGE success at 688K having been out for the best part of a month in our cinemas, but considering it cost 2.75million to make and it's grossed almost 82million worldwide, I don't think director Todd Williams is going to be eating ham and cucumber sandwiches for the next few months.
On paper it's a middle of the road top 5.
Two sequels using 3D as a gimmick to justify themselves (yes I know I loved Jackass but it's a gimmick all the same), a horror sequel (yawn), an animated feature, and a decent comedy yarn from the director of The Hangover.
What have we got to look forward to?
MACHETE. Release date: Friday 26th November.
If you saw Robert Rodriguez's splatterfest Planet Terror (2007), his half of the Grindhouse double bill (The other being Tarantino's Death Proof (2007)), you may recall a series of fake trailer segments which preceded the movie. One of these was Machete, the story of an assassin claiming bloody revenge on the employers who tried to kill him.
Here's a reminder:
Machete (original trailer), Robert Rodriguez (2007)
It was entirely tongue-in-cheek. A mock 1970's action flick with camp over-the-top stunts and chic poorly written dialogue punctuated with brilliantly bad lines. In one scene he drives a motorcycle through the air over an explosion while raining machine gun hell upon bad guys below.
I'm really hoping that this works as a feature. Sometimes there's ten ideas which, when crammed together, make an enthralling two minutes, but when spread out prove to be as thin as a slither of butter on a giant slice of bread.
We'll have to wait and see.
As for the other big release:
Unstoppable. 24th November.
On the IMDb most popular forthcoming list, Unstoppable is at the top. Not one to let a trailer decide for me, I'm going to give this flick a try. It may look like the most lame idea in the world for a movie; runaway unmanned train speeding through the US, Denzel Washington, a retired railroad worker, decides to try to stop it; but you never know because it's Denzel and he rarely chooses a bad movie.
But isn't there a rule for these things? A runaway train has to have bandits on it, or terrorists or something? Can this movie really tell us something that Steven Seagal hasn't already told us? AND with his FIST?
The trailer for Unstoppable that preceded Jackass 3D the other night was another case of show-too-much. The edit must have been ten minutes long and the only plot point it held back was the final reveal. Golden rule: a trailer has to make you ask questions. The only question I was asking was "why should I pay to see this movie after you've just shown me everything?"
A good example of a trailer is the teaser they did for The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007). I still didn't go to the movie, but it was a very good trailer:
The Hills Have Eyes 2, Martin Weisz (2007)
Sometimes a trailer can be better than the movie itself. Quite often, a good trailer will convince people to see a bad movie. Occasionally a good movie will be promoted falsely (i.e. in the wrong genre) and so it won't do well because the target audience doesn't know it's even there for them, and the audience it does draw in are disappointed because they took their first date to see House of a Thousand Corpses expecting to see romance blossom from a massacre.
Here are some of my favourite trailers:
"How to fly... how to fight... how to crow... how to save Maggie how to save Jack... HOOK is BACK"
The immortal words of Toodles in one of the greatest children's films of all time and the only picture Spielberg wished he'd never made.
You don't see Neverland. You don't see Hook. What's going to happen? Why, you'll have to see the movie.
HOOK, Steven Spielberg (1991)
Isn't it cliche to be a young film enthusiast who likes A Bout De Souffle? Well damn you all I say.
A Bout De Souffle, Jean-Luc Godard (1960)
Why don't they make trailers as terrifying as this any more?
I think I just shat myself, and this is the low res version.
Alien, Ridley Scott (1979)
Finally:
One of the most mind-bending experiences you can have sat in front of Youtube. Post-apocalyptic Doctor Who nightmare of ants and kitsch and God knows what this is about. All I know is that you must heed the warning of voiceover guy:
"In the next few moments we will try to give you an impression of a new kind of film experience..."
PHASE IV: Killer Ants, Saul Bass (1974)
What are your favourites?
Message me up.
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