Reality Television. This is next.

Reality television has become rather banal.

Why don't we take the ideas of the movies to spice things up?

The Running Man (1987):
Arnold Schwarzenegger is blamed for a massacre that wasn't his fault. He goes to prison, sets up a daring escape, but is caught again. His penalty? To compete in a game show in which convicted felons have to run for their lives, pursued by STALKERS: gladiator-like "heroes", whose job it is the satisfy the blood lust of the public by brutally eliminating the runners. Last runner alive wins, or so the rules say...

An entertaining satire on the relationship between society, violence and consumerism.

The Truman Show (1997):
Truman Burbank has been born and raised in the idyllic town of Newhaven. He has a best friend, a wife, a job. The perfect life. What he doesn't know is that everybody he knows and has ever met is actually an actor, and that Newhaven is a television set inside of a giant dome. The producer, Christof, is in the moon, orchestrating the twenty four hour show. He is, in effect, God, for his choices shape the life of this one man around whom the world's gaze revolves.
   When a television spotlight falls mysteriously from the sky, Truman's curiosity is re-ignited and soon cracks in the facade that is his life become emboldened. He has always dreamed of freedom, but only now does he begin to understand what freedom truly means.

A powerful, emotionally charged, human drama. A hilarious critique on product placement. Visionary. Terrifying. Beautiful.

Fact: Seahaven is actually a real town in Florida called Seaside. (People actually live there). (Jesus Christ).

An exhaustive list I've provided there. They were the good ones.

Now I have a couple of ideas of my own:

The Greatest Adventure of All Time:
Last year, an American named Gary Brookes Faulkner was found wandering the foothills bordering Pakistan and Afghanistan. His possessions were: a pistol, a sword, night vision goggles, and a bible. What was he doing there? Hunting down Bin Laden, of course.
Now I'm not usually one to pipe up on the old license fee debate. I think the BBC spend their money fairly wisely. However, there's no reason why they couldn't axe the next series of My Family in lieu of providing honourable warriors like Mr. Faulker, or even members of the British public, with a camera, some rudimentary editing equipment, and a ballistic knife, then sending them off on The Greatest Adventure of All Time.
Donald Mcintyre would be well up for that.
And if they die? No excuse not to lower the licence fee, which is too high might I add. Too damn high indeed.

What's it gonna look like?:
Take some women with very small brains. Take some scientists with very little regard for ethics. What do you get? Laboratory testing roulette.
What happens if you inject the DNA of a black labrador into the egg at three weeks into a human pregnancy? Let's find out!
What happens if you change the genetic code of a gestating foetus to incorporate the legs of a tarantula spider? Why the bloody hell not!
The only thing that can possibly go wrong is bad television, but even that's not a problem. Everything Johnny Vaughn seems to do is exciting until you actually watch it but we still watch it anyway. Remember that programme in which they tried to convince people that they were actually going into space? Exactly.

Got any ideas?